Excerpt from Feb 5th 2018

Will I ever find my one and only?

Will I have someone who all the stupid Instagram posts say I deserve?

Someone who I won't have to beg to do things

Someone who will want to put as much into us as I do

Did Gabe really believe he put in everything he could?

Someone who I will never have to worry about when I see him on the phone

Someone who trusts me as much as I trust them

I know I have to love myself first, but all this rejection doesn't help

Can my lesson happen quicker? 

My body feels so numb, I feel like I'm going through the motions while everything else is moving at a faster pace.

Sometime it feels like I can't breathe.

I feel like a failure

I lost to someone who I feel better than, and that makes me question everything of myself - my looks, my personality, my love.

Am I not pretty enough? 

I couldn't make him laugh as much as he says she does

He said she is blunt which he likes, am I too timid?

He said he already loves her, but it's not the same love he had with me.

Can I be that easy to move on from?  Can someone love someone else so quickly after being with me?