Beginning of the End?

I gave up, I told him I would leave him alone.  I can't feel second best anymore.

Last night when I came home for my second break, he was asleep but his smart watch was on the chair, so I looked into it.  I saw that until March 31st, he had told Crystal daily that he loved her and begged her to come back.  All this was happening as he was telling me he was done, that I was all he wanted, that he wants our future and no one else's.  The yesterday, found that when he told me they didn't text following the conversation about the ultrasound, found that that they continued their conversation and he had sent her flowers.

He fights for her and he showers her with gifts.  He has yet to do that with me.

When I told him I would leave him alone, that him and Crystal obviously still care about each other from the texts I read, and that I wished he loved me as much as I love him; all he said in response was, "I have so much love for you Faith.  I'm sorry."

I just got off the phone with him and he doesn't understand the amount of pain and betrayal and hope and confusion that I am going through.  He is coming off as if his the the priority, that we can't work on each other and support each other at the same time.  He doesn't understand how hard it is for me to choose every day to help him, knowing that the amount of energy and time I'm putting in may be for naught if he ends up getting back together with her.  That I am aware that I could be a "filler" for him since he can't be alone, but still choose to love him and show him affection. 

I need help, I need support, I am a very broken person.

I am a fool.