Fool me twice, shame on me

I still love him.  So when he called last week and told me we will be together, that he still loves me - it was all I wanted to hear.

But now it's wavering, he's telling me he's confused.  I can't get a good footing on us being us when everything is said and done.

He said he wants all of us to meet, so I would know who she was.  This brought me back to the last time he told me he wanted us to meet, it was when they were doing good and he wanted to feel better about what he did.  I can't help but have that fear but when I bring up my anxiety and how I'm struggling with everything, he makes me feel like shit.  Like he doesn't need that added to his plate, that he has to wear so many hats in front of everyone. I wish I could take my pain and show him what I'm going through, for someone like me to go through something like this.

Do I need space?  Do I need to backup for a little bit? 

Maybe we need to establish rules during this time.  I don't feel like I'm drowning, but I feel like I'm just being blown by the wind, doesn't matter where or how fast, I can't withstand it, I almost embrace it as if giving up.