You weren't what he wanted
What is wrong with me? Why can't I let go.
This whole year he has done nothing but show you that you aren't a priority with him.
He used you as a punching bag, knowing that you would take it all and accept his fake apology.
He did not want to try with you - when you told him that at the end of the day he was the one you wanted to be with, he said sometimes he wants you and sometimes he doesn't...how does someone who loves you have a hard time deciding whether or not they want to be with you?
Remember at Dion's, when he basically said that all of what you are going through, feeling, is your fault because you chose to be with him, knowing all this. What he doesn't realize is that the cheating is the tip of the iceberg, that he continually chose to lie to your face, through your tears he lied to you. That he still went out and fucked another woman the same time he was telling you it was you and him. He lied about Tinder until you showed him his lie, then played it off like no big deal - the fact that this man did not think anything was wrong in going back on Tinder, the app that he found Crystal, the app that made him believe he found better, the app that opened the idea of cheating with him.
You wanted three things: 100% honesty, 100% transparency, for actions to match words.
He CHOSE not to do any of those, he provided what was convenient.
It took one month with that woman for him to feel that she was worth throwing you away. That his new life was better than anything you ever gave him.
"I always loved you"
"I always want you by my side"
lies - you don't treat someone the way he treated you if he truly felt that way
You drove to his home in morning traffic just to be with him for an hour. He wouldn't go to your house because it was "too far".
You told him you wanted a fucking poem, flowers, random gift like he gave her - all he did was complain that that wasn't you. He didn't hear you, he just argued and never delivered.
You won't hear from him on Thanksgiving
You definitely won't hear from him on Christmas and New Year's - it will be their 1 year, he'll want his Christmas to be perfect for his baby and that doesn't include you.
I want to tell him to fuck off, but I want to beg him to come back to me. These two emotions/feeling are who I am and it's making me feel lost/out of control. I just want to shut myself out the more and more I deal with the pain.
This whole year he has done nothing but show you that you aren't a priority with him.
He used you as a punching bag, knowing that you would take it all and accept his fake apology.
He did not want to try with you - when you told him that at the end of the day he was the one you wanted to be with, he said sometimes he wants you and sometimes he doesn't...how does someone who loves you have a hard time deciding whether or not they want to be with you?
Remember at Dion's, when he basically said that all of what you are going through, feeling, is your fault because you chose to be with him, knowing all this. What he doesn't realize is that the cheating is the tip of the iceberg, that he continually chose to lie to your face, through your tears he lied to you. That he still went out and fucked another woman the same time he was telling you it was you and him. He lied about Tinder until you showed him his lie, then played it off like no big deal - the fact that this man did not think anything was wrong in going back on Tinder, the app that he found Crystal, the app that made him believe he found better, the app that opened the idea of cheating with him.
You wanted three things: 100% honesty, 100% transparency, for actions to match words.
He CHOSE not to do any of those, he provided what was convenient.
It took one month with that woman for him to feel that she was worth throwing you away. That his new life was better than anything you ever gave him.
"I always loved you"
"I always want you by my side"
lies - you don't treat someone the way he treated you if he truly felt that way
You drove to his home in morning traffic just to be with him for an hour. He wouldn't go to your house because it was "too far".
You told him you wanted a fucking poem, flowers, random gift like he gave her - all he did was complain that that wasn't you. He didn't hear you, he just argued and never delivered.
You won't hear from him on Thanksgiving
You definitely won't hear from him on Christmas and New Year's - it will be their 1 year, he'll want his Christmas to be perfect for his baby and that doesn't include you.
I want to tell him to fuck off, but I want to beg him to come back to me. These two emotions/feeling are who I am and it's making me feel lost/out of control. I just want to shut myself out the more and more I deal with the pain.
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